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September 2007

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keep breathing...

I can't get that song out of my head since I watched Grey's Anatomy season finale. With it I recall heart broken moments when the hurt is so great I can scarcely breathe. Viewing those moments from the outside now made me realise that when moments like that hit, there's only one thing to do, take a deep breath, pray, move on. keep breathing... You'll look back someday and smile.

                            

week9. in corro studio

fuzzy: enlai said: let's all take a week off & reconstruct our bodies & lives. i'll write a group letter & we'll post it thursday evening with our works & switch off our mobs
fuzzy: hahahahhaaa... he snapped. enlai cracked. 2 weeks with d and the poor guy cracked.
fuzzy: i said: hahahahaa.. are you serious? let me know what the rest thus say...
fuzzy: a cpl of hours later the reply came back. enlai: ok everyone seems to think it would be like waving a red rag to a bull so bets are off
fuzzy: lol... have a good day dearest... don't go crazy.. like us... :OP
812*****: Wow. Hmmm That's an idea. Haha. Mutiny. :-) i'm out in the boondocks going from a *** rehearsal to a contractor mtg. Good luck with the mutiny. :-)

"Much madness is divinest sense.
To a discerning eye; much sense the starkest madness.."
                                                            -Emily Dickinson

cool smelly melly..

March19_06_006

Ok. so.. I'm in Melbourne! Hopped place again haha..

 

  • colourful happening city : checked!
  • fantastic accessible art scene : checked!
  • mind stretching, architorturing school of design : checked!
  • awesome place to stay right in the CBD: checked!
  • coolness housemate : checked!
  • great new friends : checked!
  • crazy design coordinator (ie. scary studio) : checked!
  • freedom! freedom! freedom! : checked!! :OP

What an exciting start! now.. I just have to keep myself from being too comfie and dreamie and work my a*se off.

Can't believe the blessing!! Awesome God :O)03_05_07_005


PS: smelly melly is what yh calls melbourne. and he's the one thing missing that's keeping this from being so perfect... *sigh* oh well.. thank God for the broadband, the skype and the webcam.

OMG iTunes7 you SUCK!!

Itunes7suck_1 I HATE iTUNES 7!!Image Hosted by ImageShack.us                                                

1. it hinders my computer from working full speed, uses up way too much RAM, that damn thing! EVEN when I open it on the simplest 'view as a list' view with no fancy wancy 'artwork cover gallery'. I want to be able to listen to my music without slowing down my photoshop or CAD or whatever.. sheesh!

2. the 'gallery' version of the view window is so screwed up. It suppose to show one CD cover for ea. album, nice and neat. instead, it breaks up 1 album into many songs! and no matter what i tried silly iTunes will not recognise the group of songs as 1 album. Thus in the 'gallery' i have rows of the same CD cover. How stupid!

3. EVERYTIME i plug in my ipod it does not update it, it SYNCHRONISES it. Image Hosted by ImageShack.us do you have any idea how long it takes to sync 3000+ songs??? ARGH!

4. anddd it won't let my iPod being plugged w/o sync-ing it! EVEN when i pick 'manually manage your songs'!! hey i have different collections of music at work an at home! and i want to be able to listen to my iPod music on my office desktop!

5. the moment i unpick the 'sync music' option, it DELETES ALL my songs in my iPod!!!  Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

AUUGHHHH!!!! apple, apple, apple.... what on earth are you thinking of?

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us or maybe i'm just a tech idiot who cannot get iTunes 7? what kind of general music player software needs you to be a comp science geek to work it out???

an idiotic one. Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

to be only yours, i pray.

33

It has only been two weeks. Never, I felt so much peace in my life. Giving everything, anger, shame, worries, failures, everything, my broken-self essentially, in to the hands of God released all the burdens of my heart, eases my shoulders from the weight they've been carrying and my sleep from all the restlesness.. But most of all, I ceased being an angry person. Thank you Lord for taking my broken-life into your hands, for receiving it no matter how ugly and deformed, for still accepting me who has stepped and spit onto Your face time and again.. Thank you.. I know, in your hands, it will bloom into something beautiful...

fragile

If blood will flow when flesh and steel are one
Drying in the colour of the evening sun
Tomorrow's rain will wash the stains away
But something in our minds will always stay

Perhaps this final act was meant
To clinch a lifetime's argument
That nothing comes from violence and nothing ever could
For all those born beneath an angry star
Lest we forget how fragile we are

On and on the rain will fall
Like tears from a star, like tears from a star
On and on the rain will say
How fragile we are, how fragile we are

On and on the rain will fall
Like tears from a star, like tears from a star
On and on the rain will say
How fragile we are, how fragile we are
How fragile we are, how fragile we are

~Sting & The Police

f.y.i

STATEMENT BY CARD. TARCISIO BERTONE, S.D.B., SECRETARY OF STATE

Saturday, 16 September 2006

Given the reaction in Muslim quarters to certain passages of the Holy Father's address at the University of Regensburg, and the clarifications and explanations already presented through the Director of the Holy See Press Office, I would like to add the following:

- The position of the Pope concerning Islam is unequivocally that expressed by the conciliar document Nostra Aetate: "The Church regards with esteem also the Muslims. They adore the one God, living and subsisting in Himself; merciful and all-powerful, the Creator of heaven and earth, Who has spoken to men; they take pains to submit wholeheartedly to even His inscrutable decrees, just as Abraham, with whom the faith of Islam takes pleasure in linking itself, submitted to God. Though they do not acknowledge Jesus as God, they revere Him as a prophet. They also honor Mary, His virgin Mother; at times they even call on her with devotion. In addition, they await the day of judgment when God will render their deserts to all those who have been raised up from the dead. Finally, they value the moral life and worship God especially through prayer, almsgiving and fasting" (no. 3).

- The Pope's option in favor of inter-religious and inter-cultural dialogue is equally unequivocal. In his meeting with representatives of Muslim communities in Cologne, Germany, on 20 August 2005, he said that such dialogue between Christians and Muslims "cannot be reduced to an optional extra," adding: "The lessons of the past must help us to avoid repeating the same mistakes. We must seek paths of reconciliation and learn to live with respect for each other's identity".

- As for the opinion of the Byzantine emperor Manuel II Paleologus which he quoted during his Regensburg talk, the Holy Father did not mean, nor does he mean, to make that opinion his own in any way. He simply used it as a means to undertake - in an academic context, and as is evident from a complete and attentive reading of the text - certain reflections on the theme of the relationship between religion and violence in general, and to conclude with a clear and radical rejection of the religious motivation for violence, from whatever side it may come. On this point, it is worth recalling what Benedict XVI himself recently affirmed in his commemorative Message for the 20th anniversary of the Inter-religious Meeting of Prayer for Peace, initiated by his predecessor John Paul II at Assisi in October 1986: " ... demonstrations of violence cannot be attributed to religion as such but to the cultural limitations with which it is lived and develops in time. ... In fact, attestations of the close bond that exists between the relationship with God and the ethics of love are recorded in all great religious traditions".

- The Holy Father thus sincerely regrets that certain passages of his address could have sounded offensive to the sensitivities of the Muslim faithful, and should have been interpreted in a manner that in no way corresponds to his intentions. Indeed it was he who, before the religious fervor of Muslim believers, warned secularized Western culture to guard against "the contempt for God and the cynicism that considers mockery of the sacred to be an exercise of freedom".

- In reiterating his respect and esteem for those who profess Islam, he hopes they will be helped to understand the correct meaning of his words so that, quickly surmounting this present uneasy moment, witness to the "Creator of heaven and earth, Who has spoken to men" may be reinforced, and collaboration may intensify "to promote together for the benefit of all mankind social justice and moral welfare, as well as peace and freedom" (Nostra Aetate no. 3).

Taken from Vatican's Official Website.

The Pope's Full Speech can be found here.

"The intention here is... of broadening our concept of reason... Only thus do we become capable of that genuine dialogue of cultures and religions so urgently needed today"

                                                                                                       ~Pope Benedict XVI

Cal does B n J really work??

It struck me yesterday. Since when am I so angry with everything around me, with the world i'm in.. It seemed like I've been angry for so damn long I can't remember when it started. Actually I do. It all started when I chose to be angry rather than depressed. It was much easier to handle and instead of making you want to stop living, the raging torrents inside you keep you living. Though it slowly poisons you bit by bit and before you realise it, it becomes you.

maybe it's time to stop?

Lately I realise it drives everyone around me away. If the damage has really been done, it has driven one person away and that will be my regret for a long long time. Someone who shares your visions, aspiration and passion is just too hard to find.

I want to start making peace with my life and with that I hope everything else around me. It may be a little late but this has to stop before I lose more than I already have.

Though I realise driving my anger away will leave me with sadness.. It's probably time to face that. The wounds of the past did leave me with blaring red scars.. can I really do anything so they won't show as much? I don't want to be too jaded about life.. I'm too young to be so dissillusioned about love, hope, dreams..

23_1

the gripping hands of the past

So why is it then i still can't let that be? to let the dog bark and just walk on by like a deaf man? wouldn't that be my fault then? isn't that what i wanted?? so what's the big deal now???



damn.......






i have a hole.. a gaping hole that refused to be filled with....





When past sometimes takes you with soft hands
Forceless it pulls you to your chair
Hides you away from these half days
Sunless, at the end of the year

The air is like a knife cutting through you
A room in the house is always warm
Stretched down on the bathroom floor thinking
Of fair days your future may hold

Love comes like surprise ice on the water
Love comes like surprise ice at dawn
Love comes at dawn

Deprived all the light of colours
The world ends at your window tree
Darkness creates these illusions
That pale days can teach you to see

Rain falls but no life is given
Weeks pass, no progress is made
Past sometimes takes you with soft hands
And all that surrounds you will fade
~ Surprice Ice               
Kings of Convenience


Life_goes_on_ivan_lam_sm

I'd rather dance...

Been feeling like I have a lot to say lately and yet I don’t feel like saying anything at the same time..

à Best nerve soother next to Zoloft, Prosac, Wellbutrin and what have you.. :

Kings of Convenience…

Not crazy on popping pills hahahhahaa.. kidding lah..

Not too sure what’s disturbing me lately anyway.. maybe that’s it.. not knowing exactly where I’m going at this point. I hate this I-know-there’s-gotta-be-more-to-life-than-this feeling..

Tables.. table.. looking for a coffee table is like looking for a guy hahahaha.. going around looking for one to do my work on in my room made me see it that way. You either do up your room (read: Life) and then go looking for the perfect table OR you go around, find a table, put into your room and realize you need to rearrange the whole damn room just to fit the bloody table in hehee…. Go ahead keep on changing the damn table with a different one every cpl of weeks or so and you’ll find you have a room gone crazy coz you kept on rearranging it over different tables..

Ok ok let’s not get carried away… it’s just a coffe table for chimpsake!!

Then again a dear someone who’s pretty much pissed off and burnt from a recent relationship came up with THIS one:

Guys are like jewelleries, when they ain’t the real thing, and you happen to like that particular one at the moment you keep on wearing it till you’re bored. If it’s the real thing, you wear it for life coz you’ll never tire of it. Prob is the fake may fool you into thinking it’s the real stuff!!

Hahahhahahaaaa…

Sorry you guys out there.. didn’t mean to be so cruel (I know she didn’t).. in the heat of passionate anger la..

See? Feel better already…. Talking rubbish is always so therapeutic.. Ahh Monday blues…. Damn Monday blues..

That’s what you get spending the whole damn weekend with a hangover plus exhaustion plus gastric plus migraine (the last 3 items been a constant friend for the past 2 weeks or so)

I need to unwind a little.. relax a little.. get away from it all a little….

I NEED A

HOLIDAY

!!

To an isolated beach on an island would be nice…. Where there’s no phone connection would be great.

Maybe I just need exercise…. I need my yoga sessions!!!!!

Aniihhhwweeiiiiiiiiii.. got a bit of designing to do…

Better get on with it now hehehe…

"Being misunderstood by someone is vexation. Being misunderstood by everyone is tragedy."                                                

                                                                                                       ~Liu Shahe

Creative_processes_1

All or Nothing At All

Maybe or maybe not..

interestingly enough nothing much is just black and white.

The world is a scary enough place as it is

with enough pressure on each person as it is

with enough consequences waiting for each and everyone of your action as it is

who needs a world of just black and white???

(as if it’s not enough that black and white is all I wear nowadays hehehee)

Ahhh.. don’t give a damn.. just taking things easy.

Had to relearn how to do that to be honest

Realizing the importance of keeping one’s own personal space personal

Keeping a safe distant away

but I think I’m managing it fine right now.

Hmmmm… it isn’t easy going into adulthood.

Or should I quote Jamie cullum’s twentysomething yet again?? *grinz*

Just cruisin’ along quite literally

With a little spontaneous bursts of excitements now and then

Got a cpl of things in the horizon, enough excitement and worries to have to keep me occupied

It’s like putting on that fishbowl effect lenses on

Keeping things right in front of ya focused while everything else on the surrounding’s a blurry swirl

Hehhehehee..

No I swear I’m not high on anything

Ahh one thing maybe

Friendship :O)

Got a pal through it all

And just for that I think I may count me as the luckiest arse around.

Hmm.. just side trekking a little

Just had to mention this, the nohari window, hehe..

Interesting how in spite of the many replies I get in  email format

complete greetings updates and all

(NOT mentioning a word on the nohari window)

Only 2 actually did the window…

Why is that?

Yes someone said I need to update my blog a little

I just did

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

you

Good Dancers by Sleepy Jacksons in the background..
hey you..
do you remember?
the soft sultry warm air of negombo..
the coarse sand under the feet, the blue sea.. salty tang mixed with fish market odor in the air..
tall lean coconut trees... the breeze....
the quaint old houses.. strange forms they called modern..
haywire wires crossing the blue sky..
the busy narrow winding streets.. the people!! vivid colours.. noises..
you pulling me back! watch out you said..
the rush of people.. men holding hands...
kerosene lamps of mango men.. black sea in the night.. sea of people filling the galle front..
snaking our way through the market.. looking for sandals you said..
tuktuks rushing around... shouts of vendors..
the streets of colombo...
all the way to galle....
big barren hall..long tables.. ladden with food..
stringy white coconut cakes.. curries.. spicy spicy curries.. thick dahl.. bananas.. ananas...
sitting on the floor...
linking together with a string of white..
you refused.
the evening grew quiet.. the bus took too long you said.. let's walk!
where to?
dinner.. that little restaurant somewhere there.. let's walk.
long dark road.. where to?
men on the streets.. night markets.. food vendors with kerosene lamps... we had our doubts..
we talked..
why? did you refuse? i wondered..
guilt you said.
it's just a gesture! does not mean anything if in your heart it does not!
still....
nevermind...
you told me your stories.. i made up my mind then..
i cannot..
you will find someone you said.
the road long and dark.. in a strange world..
i had you then. it was ok.
you were gone
a letter came..
it's from her.
i could've thrown it away!
i put it on your pillow instead...
....
the path was steep.. the morning cold..
my legs heavy as lead..
you ran ahead.
a sliver of gold.. revealing cold blue peaks above the misty white..
nirvana?
you went ahead..
beyond my reach...
hey you..
how're ya doin' mate?
good i hope..
you liked them.
"Don't always dream for what you want
But i love to watch good dancers talk
(When you think with your mind you've got a place to go now)
My heart is stronger than you all
(When you think with your mind you've got a place to go now)
But i love to watch good dancers talk
(When you think with your mind you've got a place to go now)
Don't always dream for what you want
But i love to watch good dancers talk
(When you think with your mind you've got a place to go now)
My heart is stronger than you all
(When you think with your mind you've got a place to go now)
But i love to watch good dancers talk
(When you think with your mind you've got a place to go now)
.............."
                                                                   ~Good dancer, Sleepy Jacksons
staring at the ceiling..
just reminiscing...
of the past long gone.. like the burnt wick of the candle of time..
Good dancers by the Sleepy Jacksons in the background...
Details_old

have yourself...

Last_ch_2

a MERRY CHRISTMAS everyone......

                                     & HAPPY NEW YEAR too!!!

Wishing you all a lovely lovely holiday.. and a great year ahead.....

Peace on earth!! *GRINZ*

love,

joseline.

the bee hive..

Dsc00002so this is where i slog nowadays.. not too bad just that sometime it gets sooooooooooooooo coooollllllllddddddddddd!!! I'd be wearing a double layer plus a blazer and i'd still be cold! got sick last week full blown cold and i do blame it on the chill..

liking it here so far.. it's always err... 'exciting' *grinz* yeah kinda on alert all the time.. fumbling over several things at once (hey i'm so bad at multi tasking remember?) will be truly evident if you try to call me during office hours. i'll be like 'errrr.... yeeaaa... that's good... yaaa... errr... what did you err.. say again???' and i bet by the end of the conversation i'd only get half your stories.. heheehehe... *oops* can't help it you know... i'm working on it though.. it's bad if i'm actually receiving instructions...

been having problem uploading audio files.. can't attach any to my blog now coz of that :O( anyone got a suggestion?? it's so annoying....

my sis coming back this week.. YAY!! it'd be nice to see her again after all these months... talking about family.. the upside and downside living with your parents.. you get on each other's nerve sometime don't you? and i do hate hate the fact i can't drive around myself or take public transport safely in this stupid city! that and of course my mom's paranoia..

SHE JUST WON'T LET ME!!    *ARGH*

may i say that some people SOOMMMEEE PEOPLE been getting on my nerve lately.. i do try to stay out of ppl's hair you know? my goodneeesssss... do try to do the same will ya? or at least try not to pounce on ppl who hasn't done anything to you! *sigh* thus the world...

24cover_386oh well.... there's the upside... and then there's the downside..... i want my own house!! by the beach... and then i can invite all of you to hang out.. beach partyyyy... throw something on the barbie.. bonfire at night.. my chillout music in the air.. some cold caipiroscha.. just chillin... hehe oh well... dream on.. for now.

PS: in need of a good book.... so hard to find one and buy one without winching around hereCollage7.... may i put that in my christmas list? a tim burton's book.. including  a bottle of CK Eternity, a funky leather daily planner and Sony Ericsson P990i?? *GRINZ*

42?? 234 more like it...

sooooo....... update.. update....it's confirmed for now.. i'll be based here in jakarta for the forseeable near future at least.. a worker/builder black and white bee i am. 'lodge' meself in a 'big bee hive' well... more like a two towered bee hive hehehhee.. ain't so bad... some thing different to my mundane monotonous architecture school life. Still in designing though.. not going to leave that world ever i think.. it's too ingrained in my brain and blood by now.. hence no i will not be going back to aussie.. as for school.. we'll see..... still intend to fulfill some dreams i have but tha't's on hold for the moment.. maybe when i get too saturated here.. for now.. i'm here :O)